Thursday, 3 July 2014

When I am 'jobless', I am very busy

Day 2 being jobless, but not a single dull moment. Infact I got loads of meaningful works done in past two days. My mobile doesn't stop ringing, emails are pouring and social media accounts are buzzing. Every morning I get up fully charged, hitting my work table immediately after breakfast and then my rest of day passes just being there. Its like my mind is working on high octane and it refuses to take a break.
This reminds me of my fellowship year at Boston University where I use to spend whole day studying, completing assignments, planning meetings, establishing professional contacts and going to classes in the late evening.I thoroughly enjoyed the freedom and single-mindedness, no supervisor, no follow ups, no suggestions, no advice just goals and deadlines. I turned out to be the best fellow among our cohort.
Since I was trained to work dangerously independent, I had issues when I started having toomany bosses, some of them were not even capable to understand my work, leave aside giving suggestions. So I was out to become my own boss. Someone did cautioned me that I may loose my identity if I step out of the big banner. It didn't bother me because I knew my capabilities and the legacy of work I was carrying with me. This may appear as arrogance or overconfidence, whatever it was, I was 100% sure, I was making the right move.
However the bigger boost to my confidence came through the people far and wide, with whom I had worked. This included ex-colleagues, volunteers, experts, interns, collaborators, funding agencies, individuals who participated in my walks and camps, professionals who underwent my training programmes and courses and simply the virtual friends on social media. They hugged me with their attention, appreciation, best wishes, assurances, testimonials and more. Technically I was out of my position and out of the power play, yet it surprised me people remembered me and my work. Some exhibited enormous levels of confidence which could be termed as exaggeration but they did it for me. Getting loved and respected even outside the realm of the official tag, elated me.
Something else was also happening, several people specially women called me up and expressed their desire to work for me. Then there were men who wanted to volunteer then senior citizens who said they are available, incase I need help. So much that some did advance booking of working with me after their retirement in near future. I was pleasantly surprised when my neighbor, an average home maker offered to volunteer for me and learn the ropes from me. Since I wasn't prepared to find a volunteer next to my home, I asked her if she knows computer operation, she said, she isn't fluent but she will try. I asked myself- is it written on my face that I need volunteers!!!
While this may be a feel good factor for my jobless being, the extra and jumbo booster to my spirit came from my professional contacts who reached out for me with offers and assignments. Some offering to work for their organizations which I turned down politely. Working for 21 years for one institution feels like being in a marriage and getting into another organization is like a infidelity. Nevertheless being out of the system made me accessible to several professionals who knew my work, my abilities and my potentials too. It is sad that I wasn't valued enough within my own organization. So this network which was actually partially alive while I was in my job and occasionally became warm, is now seamlessly hot and fuming. I don't know what to do with so much of work now.
I guess this is my khari kamai, the goodwill capital I generated while being a nonprofit professional, I am glad, I am able to en-cash it and people who benefited with my knowledge and advice, are generously giving back....its after all payback time for my network.
And come to think of, this joblessness has helped me to pick my latent passion- writing.

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